It is not a coincidence that the Tai-Chi-Symbol (Yin and Yang) has influenced billions of people on their journey through life on earth and is continuing to spread its mystery throughout the globe.
When I’ve first heard about the concept of life of a play of dualities it transformed my thinking. I can only imagine what happened in my brain at this moment but it probably looked like a glowing spider that was racing through my neural pathways and went from experience to experience to information to information that all floated as singular and seperate entities before and weaved them together into a net of understanding that exists until today and is extended continously.
The silk that this net consists of is Duality, the guiding principle behind the game of life. Right in this moment I look to the right and I see this symbol:
Never have I ever paid attention to this logo before. But in this moment-when I get the spontaneous inspiration to write about Duality-right in this moment I look to the right and I see it revealing itself for the first time. Some may call that coincidence, I call it synchronicity. The spider is not only inside my brain, it operates in the outer world also and once you are on its scent you see it operate everywhere.
You see the rhythmical up and down of the heartbeat, you see the polar forces of masculinity and feminity dancing on the dancefloor on a saturday night, you see the hot light of the sun and the cold light of the moon, you see the penetrating form of the penis and the yielding form of the vagina, you see summer and winter, you see night and day, you see life and death, you see expression and depression, you see the inbreath and the outbreath. You see the warrior sleeping in total relaxation at night and you see him channeling his entire being to attack the challenges that await in the daytime. At least the true warrior does that.
But when I go out my house and walk around the streets I rarely see warriors. I see cowards, everywhere I go, I see cowards. I go into myself and I meet the coward there also. The coward seems to be the guiding archetype of this society and that for a reason. Only cowards can be passive slaves. They live on the surface of life. They’ve been told and they’ve been shown that life is about getting a job, that it’s about accumulating wealth and posessions, that it’s about getting a nice house and family and that it’s about avoiding discomfort at all costs. That death is wrong, that diseases are evil, that rain is disgusting and makes you sick, that depression shouldn’t be there.
And so-slowly but steady-they become what they’ve been told by a society that doesn’t want them to experience the depths of life, a society that want them to keep believing that their fulfillment lies in material goods instead of the jump into EXPERIENCES of life. They get numbed down. To distract themselves from their emptiness they lose themselves in the internet or TV. Because they don’t let their muscles relax through stretching they become stiff and their energy can’t flow freely through their body anymore. They don’t sleep well any longer, their dreams lose depth-first at night, then when they’re awake. Their breathing shallows, their heartbeat is getting weaker. Because they don’t experience the yielding of the night anymore, they are tired throughout the day and compensate that with litres of caffeine. Their excitement about life fades because they don’t take any risks anymore, and to get it back they drink alcohol, every weekend, some people everyday. Many take ecstacy, sniff cocaine. They need to get higher and higher because their everyday life gets flatter flatter. But everytime they seem to have gone deep into life through drugs they fall back even harder and it becomes even more harder to get this passion naturally. When their life has reached a point of depression and/or sickness, they don’t allow it to be. They take medication and the remaining amount of life energy slowly fades away also. Everything becomes grey. They become addicted.
Do you see the spider connecting everything that I just wrote with black and white strings and everything in between? Don’t lose of sight of it. Look for it.
What does that mean? That means to be aware, to listen, to see, to hear, to feel where the current string of the moment is heading. Don’t judge it, because this judgement will most likely not be yours. This judgement has been given to you by a society of cowards that have never followed the spider into the depths themselves. I say follow the string. And when it leads you into depression, follow it! Don’t be sorry for yourself, don’t listen to the people that want to tell you shouldn’t be depressed, but follow it!
Every new string that you follow is striked differently by the spider and the vibration that emerges forms into a song. A song that you will miss when you don’t go all the way, when you numb yourself with drugs and other distractions. Listen to the song, get enchanted by it, lose yourself in it. It’s a song of transformation, and it doesn’t matter whether it’s a black or a white string, both will transform you when you follow them to the end.
-The black strings will give you depth, they lead you deep into your inner world and open you up to new possibilities. Often they are accompanied by a song of crisis and grief.
-The white strings will give you height, they take the newfound possibilities and manifest them in your outer world, they let your being penetrate old layers of your personality that are no longer ressourceful and establish a connection with the new possibilities that you found within. Oftentimes it’s a song of aggressive action-taking which vibrations will destroy your olf self.
Both may sometimes look like total madness, but you have to trust the process. Trusting and following the process will make you realize your true nature with each new string a little bit more. However, in order to realize your true nature-which is no other than that of a Buddha or a Christ-you have to shed your old skin. With every personality (what you think you are) shed, a new and deeper version of you will emerge.
But first the coward has to die. The coward dies, and with him the old habbits that held you on the surface of life. The warrior emerges. Because he knows he trusts the spider to always lead him where he needs to be, he doesn’t run away from his current situation and dives deep into it. Because he knows that his body is the vehicle to realize his true nature, he honours its rhythms: he eats well and according to the season, he sleeps well and deep and he lets it express itself fully. Because he knows all movement emerges out of stillness, he takes his time to be alone and sit quietly. He may still enjoy material goods, but he isn’t bound by them. He uses them to dive even deeper into the experience of life.
The true warrior follows the Spider of Duality, even if there’s great resistance on his way. He know it’s worth it. You know you’re worth it. You are the warrior. Break through.
Sometimes the one who is running from the Life/Death/Life nature insists on thinking of love as a boon only. Yet love in its fullest form is a series of deaths and rebirths. We let go of one phase, one aspect of love, and enter another. Passion dies and is brought back. Pain is chased away and surfaces another time. To love means to embrace and at the same time to withstand many endings, and many many beginnings- all in the same relationship.
-Clarissa Estés, Women Who Run With the Wolves